1001 Ways to Annoy Amanda

Disclaimer: We don't own Methos, Duncan or the various other Immortals/Mortals running around in this story. The Highlander gang belongs to R:P/D, as well, Ali and Simon Ross belong to the wonderful people who own Cold Squad. We think, however, we'd take better care of them all...we'd even learn to share Duncan and Methos...

Author's Notes:

Don't ask us. This story started out as a joke and somehow evolved into an actual planned series. So, don't look for a *huge* extent of plot here, there isn't a lot. It's just a convenient excuse to cross-over some of our favorite characters.

We'd love to know what you thought of this *story*...so if you'd like to tell us you liked it, hated it...or even to tell us that we're both insanely weird, you can E-mail us either here or individually at keikimo@hotmail.com or terabithia@hotmail.com

And one more thing you should know. This has been run through a spell check and while it was edited by two very wonderful people...ourselves...it hasn't been beta'ed in any form. So these are our apologies in advance for any overuses of words, improper nouns and all that wonderful grammatical stuff...

As well, in the things we're apologizing in advance for, this story has been through three different computers, 4 different file transfers, and about 8 different word processing programs. And...we're also posting from Hotmail! :) So...we apologize deeply if any weird characters or line lengths show up.

Duncan felt the buzz as the lift carried him up to the loft. When the elevator stopped he stepped out with extreme caution.

Then he saw the figure sprawled on his bed.

"Methos do I dare ask what brings you back to town?"

"That's Inspector to you Highlander, and it's a conference."

"What are you talking about Methos?"

"Inspector Ross...and I'm here for a conference. So I decided to come and crash at your place since it was handy and I thought you were in Paris at the time." Methos shrugged, nodding towards the sword in Duncan's hand. "Little jumpy?"

"You know, if I didn't have friends who kept insisting on breaking in whenever I wasn't around, I probably wouldn't have to worry."

"Apparently you haven't hung around Amanda long enough then..."

"She usually has the decency to wait until I get home." Duncan said. "She learned her lesson a couple of decades ago."

"I always was a slow learner." Methos drawled. "Actually I saw her today. Just out of the corner of my eye. But it was her."

"I suppose she thought it would be fun to pull off a robbery at a police conference."

"No...haven't you heard?" Methos gave an evil grin, it was always fun to watch Duncan turn purple.

"Heard what?"

"She's got a new boy-toy. Tall, dark, handsome. Not exactly who I'd go after...but I can definitely see what she finds attractive about him."

"Okay seeing as this is Amanda is that Sex-toy, or partner in crime."

"I'm going to let her know you said that...she'll probably take your head with her fingernails."

"Right after she takes yours for letting me know about her new boyfriend?"

"I didn't say that he was a boy*friend*...that would imply something semi-permanent and serious...and as we both know Amanda, I'm not sure if that word would imply. But nevertheless, he's some sort of an ex-cop who's still a cop and goes to these stupid conference things cause he wants to feel important or something."

"Okay... maybe I'll have to just show up in her hotel room. That could be fun. Scare the poor boy to death, bug Amanda for all the times she pulled that on me."

"Ooo... sounds like fun can I come."

"Are you ever going to grow up old man?"

"Not today... maybe next year if I feel like it."

"You're impossible. You are aware of that, right?"

"And just *how* do you plan on getting in her hotel room without me anyways? I somehow doubt *you've* ever learned the unique talent of breaking and entering."

"Methos, you're an Inspector, here for a Police Conference, and you plan on *breaking and entering*?" Duncan asked with a grin. "I'm sure that would look good on your record."

"That's why you're coming along. If I get caught, I can always arrest you..."

"Gee thanks. You know that isn't really wise... do you remember what happened when Amanda got me arrested."

"You don't know where my rainy day stashes are MacLeod."

"Don't I?" Duncan mumped sweetly.


"Yes?" The Highlander said sweetly.

"How many..."

"Oh I hadn't really counted. Now are we going... or am I going to have re-learn how to pick locks."

"You can pick locks... yeah right." Methos scoffed.

"I didn't spend years with Amanda with out picking up a few tricks old man." Duncan said calmly pulling on his coat.

"Wow...I didn't know they gave out merit badges for robbery." Methos muttered, grabbing his coat out of the air as it was tossed to him. "Let's just *try* and not get caught...I'd rather not have to explain this all to the Sergeant."


"Come on Mac..." Methos wandered into the elevator, ignoring the puzzled glance Duncan was giving him. Let him ponder over that one for a while...

***** *****

Amanda was calmly strolling along the hall enroute to her hotel room, when she felt the buzz just outside the door. Who the heck had found her now? Even Duncan didn't know she was in town this time...she had purposely *neglected* to inform him. Slowing to a stop, she grabbed her sword, and pushed open the door with her foot, slowly walking in. "Nick? Where are you?"

"Told you so..."

"I think I'm hurt."

"Duncan? What the hell are you doing here?" Amanda turned the corner and spotted Methos and Duncan, lounging on the two beds in her room. "And you! I thought you were in Vancouver with that...woman."

"She's got a name you know..."

"You too?" Duncan accused glaring at the old man. "Both my favorite lovers taking up with other people I must be losing my touch."

"Oh... thank you Amanda!" Methos muttered sarcastically, glaring at the woman who was still hovering in the doorway. "And since when are you keeping tabs on my social life?"

"You're not the only one with connections you know." Amanda said with an evil grin, titling her head to one side a studying him carefully. "Wonder what she'd say if I called her here to arrest you for break and enter."

"Would someone like to explain what we're talking about to the poor, jilted lover? Is this the Sergeant we were talking about earlier?"

"Yes...I was going to tell you about her."

"When, before or after we had sex?" Duncan rolled over. "And you." He snapped at Amanda. "What are you thinking getting involved with a cop? Do you know how hard it is to break a person out of prison these days Amanda? I for one, don't want to even try."

"He's not a cop anymore...and we aren't involved."

"Yet." Methos muttered under his breath.

"Why you...antiquated, moldering old..." She hissed launching herself at the old man.

Duncan lay back on his bed and howled as the two of them did their best to kill each other. Finally, after Amanda began to get the upper hand, he joined the battle. After a few more moments he'd managed to use his greater size to overpower them both, laying back against the pillows with both of the other Immortals to either side, held in a headlock. "Now children..." He said peaceably.

"Don't pull this *children* crap on me MacLeod. I'm older then you by about forty six hundred years." Methos snapped, pulling himself away so hard his neck would have broken if Duncan hadn't released him.

"Try acting it sometimes." Duncan snapped back.

"Yeah well talk to her, she's the one who launched herself at me like an attack missile." Methos pointed towards Amanda then returned to trying to smooth the wrinkles out of his sweater. "I on the other hand, was just trying to defend myself..."

Amanda, who had finally managed to squirm free of the arm around her neck as well, smiled sweetly. "You know just for that I think I *will* use this...." She waved Methos's cell phone in front of his face.

"Oh who are you going to call? Your boyfriend?" Methos scoffed.

"No your girlfriend... I'm sure you've saved her number on here..."

Duncan sighed. "Are you two sure you're older then me?"

"Yes!!!" They both snapped.

"They leave me for mortals and they're mean to me." Duncan pouted.

The big Highlander didn't pout often but when he did, it was effective. Amanda caved first. "Now Duncan it's not as though we were ever really together." She said gently.

"You said you loved me." The pout deepened.

"You know I can't stay put... besides you were with him." She muttered pointing across the bed at Methos.

"Well, he said he loved me too." The pout was transforming itself into an even more effective hurt expression.

Methos blinked. "Did you think I was lying?"

"Well you left. Without saying goodbye I might add."

"You knew I was going from the start."

"That's not the point."

"Fine, I promise I'll say goodbye next time." The old man said, and a second later found himself being pulled down into a crushing hug. Oh brother the Highlander was being demonstrative. With a sigh he relaxed against Duncan and rested his head against the well-muscled shoulder.

"And what about me? I always say goodbye." Amanda complained.

"At least he didn't hook up with another man." Duncan said accusingly. Methos smirked at her from his spot cuddled against the Scot's side.

"Neither did I. Nick and I aren't together! We're as much together as he and that Ali girl are..."

"Really...?" Methos asked with a grin before feeling the arms around his chest tighten threateningly.

"You might want to tread lightly here... you're going to end up implicating yourself."

"I was only going to mention the fact that Ali and I *aren't* sharing a room." Methos blinked innocently and grinned at her, knowing Duncan couldn't see his face.

"Oh please, spare me the investigation here. You don't know anything, you're just fishing for facts."

"You came in here, asking where he was. That usually means you expected him to be here."

"Fine so maybe we're sharing the room...you'll notice there are *two* beds."

"Means nothing."

"Shut up Methos!" Amanda snapped. Then switched to pleading. "Duncan you can't actually believe him over me."

"Hmmm..." Duncan looked thoughtful.

"Duncan..." She wailed.

"It doesn't really matter Amanda. I'll just steal Methos back from this Sergeant of his." He announced smugly.

"Oh, so *he's* worth stealing back but I'm not." Amanda pouted. "What does he have that I don't?"

Methos opened his mouth, an evil glint in his eyes when Duncan clamped a hand firmly over his mouth. "Don't even think that Methos."

Amanda looked at both of them then rolled her eyes skyward. "Besides *that*! I mean you've gone after women before obviously *that* isn't the only requirement."

"You know, I think I should feel insulted... but I'm not sure."

"You shouldn't." Duncan said patting the cropped hair. "I won't steal you *back* Amanda because I can see full well that you have no intention of being stolen. You like it just where you are."

"Well, yes I do...but that wasn't really the point." She sulked.

"Just admit you've been beat." Methos advised with great superiority.

"Why you..." She snapped leaping at him again. They were all tangled together each trying to get the upper hand when they heard the door open and the shocked shout.

"What the HELL?"

All three froze. Staring at the tall, dark haired man in the doorway.

"Nick." Amanda gasped in a very un-Amanda like squeak.

"I don't even want to know." He sighed, turning and closing the door behind him as he stalked out.

Duncan turned to look at Methos. "You didn't mention he was *that* good looking." He commented.

"Well I hadn't really gotten a good look." Methos looked thoughtful for second. "I think we should go apologize for evading his room."

"No way." Amanda practically shouted. "It's bad enough you took Duncan, but now you're going after Nick. No, no, no! Hands off, he's mine."

"I think we should let him decide. Besides it's not as though we could keep him. You two live too far away." The old man grinned at her. "Come on Duncan. Let's go have some fun."

They found Nick in the hotel lounge, alone at a table in the back of the room. "We wanted to introduce our selves...and apologize for invading your room." Methos said with a smile when they reached his table.

"Don't mention it. I guess you're friends of Amanda's." Nick glanced up at them before returning his attention to the tabletop.

"Yeah we're old friends." Duncan grinned, sticking his hand out. "Duncan MacLeod."

"Simon Ross..." Methos watched as Nick's eyes bugged out slightly. "I take it you've heard of me..."

"Head of Homicide with the Vancouver Police?"

"Yeah." Methos shrugged, ignoring the shocked look Duncan was giving him. "And you are..."

"Nick Wolfe." Nick waved the two men to the empty seats at the table. "I used to work for the Police too, but I quit a while ago. After my partner was killed."

"Sorry to hear that." Duncan said honestly.

"It was stupid, it never should have happened."

"Losing someone close is always hard." Duncan said. "And very few deaths should *ever* happen."

"I know." Nick said shortly, vaguely wishing he hadn't brought it up in the first place. "It's just...it's even worse..."

"Knowing she could have let the bullet hit Amanda and it wouldn't have mattered?" Methos asked calmly.

"You know about that too, huh?" They both nodded. "So just how long have you known her?" He asked.

"A while." Was Methos's non-committal response.

"About three hundred and fifty years too long." Duncan laughed.

"You've put up with her that long?" Nick stared at the Highlander with a new respect.

"Well Amanda does have her perks." Duncan said with a leer.

"Changing your mind about who you're stealing Duncan?" Methos asked, trying not to let the slight flare of jealousy he felt show.

"Of course not." The younger man growled and a few moments later had the old man sitting on his lap gasping for breath after one short but hard, intense, breath-taking kiss.

Nick tried to not stare but found it increasingly hard to ignore them when they were sitting directly in front of him, across the table. "You know, I think I'll just go back to the room now..."

"No wait!" Methos grabbed his arm, glaring at Duncan over his shoulder. "Don't mind him, he's just got this thing about exhibitionism or something."

"Uh uh. No, I can pretty much take the hint you two would really rather I weren't around at this point." Nick shook his head and drained the rest of his glass.

"You'd probably be surprised at what we *really* want." Duncan muttered, purposely holding Methos tightly against him, even as the other man made an effort to escape.

"Duncan." The older immortal hissed.

Nick stilled. "What was that?"

"We don't want you to go." Duncan said calmly. "At least not with out us."

The mortal's eyes bugged out. "Uhhh...."

"See Duncan now you scared him. You have no sense of subtlety." Methos snapped, then turned back to Nick. "Don't worry..." He said in a reassuring voice. "Duncan is just being a brat, he's usually quite harmless." The older man's voice cracked as Mac pinched a nipple through his shirt, but fortunately he was facing the wrong way for Nick to see it.

"Why would you guys...well, think I'd be interested?" Nick asked.

"Well, you haven't succumbed to Amanda yet. Either you have great will power or just aren't interested. Or maybe some of each." Methos explained as sensibly as he could with Duncan nibbling on his neck.

"Succumbed to Amanda? She's usually trying to get herself killed. Our relationship is based on me telling her she's going to get herself killed one of these days."

"I know how that is..." Methos muttered, then cut off abruptly as Duncan's hand wandered down further, hidden by the table and the angle of Methos' body. "Fuck, will you stop that?" He hissed.

"Stop what?"

Methos glanced at the amused look Duncan had on his face. There was arousal there too but the amusement was clearly winning out. "This is payback isn't it? Just because I didn't tell you about Ali."

"Do I really need a reason to touch you old man? You don't usually complain."

"You don't usually choose some where quite so public."

"Alright, so it's payback...you have a problem with it?"

"Yes, you are ruining the perfectly good seducing I had planned for our young friend."

"Oh, I don't know..." Duncan commented, running his eyes over Nick who was beginning to show a few telltale signs of arousal and couldn't seem to be able to drag his eyes away from the two men in front of him any longer. His skin was flushed and he seemed to be rapidly running out of space in his jeans. "How are we doing Nick?" The Highlander asked as he ran a finger down one side of Methos' face. "Still want to run for your room?"

Nick swallowed heavily. "Not..." He began hoarsely then paused and cleared his throat. "Not unless you two are with me."

Methos stared. "See? I know what I'm doing." Duncan crowed.

"Shut up." Methos sighed. "You know, I really don't have to put up with this from you."

"Right...like that's supposed to be a believable threat."

"It is! I could easily go and find Amanda. She's probably feeling jilted and annoyed. I'm sure she's probably quite willing to take me in." Methos paused, trying to come up with some other suitable *threat*. "Or I could just go and see if I couldn't find Ali somewhere..."

"Go right ahead. And I'll just do *this* to Nick instead..." Duncan murmured, licking a light path from Methos' throat up to his ear. "Or this..." He moved one of the hands that had been resting on Methos' thighs inward, cupping and caressing him through the denim of his jeans.

"Ahh..." Methos breathed. "That offer of the room still good?"

"Yes." The younger man said quickly.

"Good, let's go." Duncan grinned.

"But...what about Amanda?"

"Oh she's busy."


"She more than likely sulked off to tattle to Ali on me when Duncan chose me over her." Methos informed him, now that he could finally speak normally since Duncan had released him so he could stand up.

"Duncan grinned. "She's so predictable. I knew she'd do that. Nicely guarantees I don't have to worry about Ali any more. No competition."

"Ali...McCormick?" Nick glanced over towards Methos. "Redhead, kinda cute?"

"Yeah..." Methos replied hesitantly.

"Met her in one of our seminars today. We were complaining about our travelling companions..." Nick paused, studying Methos carefully once again.

"You know, I don't even want to know what Ali said about me." Methos started to walk away from the table but was pulled back by a hand on his elbow.

"No, wait. I want to hear this..."

"Not much. But from her description, I would have figured you were as straight as a ruler..." Nick shrugged, then grinned widely. "Although I'll probably be more than happy to find out she was wrong..."

The old man just shook his head and followed Nick who had stated out of the bar. "Why do I get the distinct impression that I was just bested by two people, much much younger then I am?

"Because you were." Duncan purred in his ear.

"I must be rubbing off on you MacLeod."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

***** *****

They managed to behave themselves until they reached Nick's room. Nick hesitated in the doorway after letting the other two proceed him into the room. In a second he found himself yanked in and the door slammed behind him.

"Subtle..." Duncan commented as Nick landed heavily on the bed beside him.

"I got bored of subtlety about half an hour ago." Methos shot back. "Which I seem to recall was not *my* idea."

"Shut up M... Simon."

"Both of you shut up." Nick demanded reaching out suddenly and catching Methos's wrist and yanking him down on top of him.

"Ohhh..." The oldest immortal gasped.

"Getting in to the spirit of things?" Duncan asked rolling on to his side gaining easy access to both of the other men's necks. He wrapped a hand around the back of Methos' neck caressing up and down with his thumb, while he deftly licked a trail along Nick's throat. The mortal gave a soft gasp, a hand flying up to grasp at a handful of Duncan's hair.

"He is good at that, isn't he?" Methos said pulling Nick's face down to his own.

Nick found himself unable to answer, sandwiched tightly between the other two men. Beside him, Duncan was still lightly kissing his way up and down his neck, while Simon was making a very diligent exploration of his mouth. For several moments he was so lost in the sensation that he didn't notice the pair of hands beginning a quest under his shirt, stroking up his sides gently with soft feathery caresses.

He tried for a moment to determine who's hands they were, then decided that it didn't really matter as a second pair began a journey up his back, dragging his shirt with them. He was just beginning to lose himself in the sensations once again when they disappeared all at once. He gave a soft whimper of protest but it was lost in the folds of his shirt as it was yanked over his head and a second later he was pressed between the other two men, once again reveling in the sensation of skin on skin contact on all sides.

***** *****

Ali McCormick sprawled out on one of the chairs by the edge of the pool, attempting to read some of the many brochures she had gotten from the seminars earlier that morning. Glancing up when she heard the doors open she sighed, turning back to her reading when it wasn't who she was expecting.

"You've figured out the fact he's not coming by now...right?"

Ali flicked her annoyed glare towards the other woman sitting beside her, not even bothering to sound polite. "I have no idea who or what you're talking about."

"You're waiting for someone...aren't you?" Amanda asked with a smile, sitting down in the chair right beside her. "I'm just telling you that he's not coming."

"You don't even know who I am."

"Ali McCormick. Sergeant with the Vancouver Police." Amanda grinned even wider when the other woman's mouth dropped open with the shock. "Hi...I'm Amanda."

"Great...and yet I still have no idea what you're talking about."

"Look, you're a cop, I know you can't be this stupid. Try and keep up with me here." Amanda sighed, leaning back and settling into her chair further. "You're waiting for your friend, Simon Ross. He isn't coming."

"Why? What did you..."

"Well...at least now I've got your attention..." Amanda rolled her eyes, trying to keep from sighing once again. "*I* didn't do anything. He somehow managed to end up with *my* boyfriend again. Well...both of them actually."


"Okay, just how explicit do I *really* need to get here. Tab A, slot B discussions? Would you like me to draw you a diagram?"

"You're trying to tell me that Simon is..."

"Boinking two other guys at this very second?" Amanda finished with a smile. "Probably."

"He's... No, never mind...it's not like I even believe you. How do you know Simon anyways?"

"We go a *long* way back. That's not the point."

"Yeah it is. You're want me to get jealous, stalk out of here in an angry snit so then *you* can meet up with him."

"Oh *puh-lease*. While the idea of getting together with him has crossed my mind on more than a few occasions, that's *not* why I'm here." Amanda sighed, glancing up towards the rooms that lined the outside of the pool. "If you'd *like* I can let you into my room. I'm sure things are getting *really* interesting right about now."

***** *****

Nick gave a soft gasping cry as a hot wet mouth closed over his cock. He wasn't sure who it was again but he couldn't quite convince his eyes to open so he could check. Things had proceeded quickly after their shirts had gone flying. They had lain still for a few seconds enjoying the sensations, then hands had started to wander over various bodies again, until the shirts weren't the only things that had to go. Pants then underwear had followed them until all three of them were naked.

They all enjoyed the view for several seconds before Duncan and Methos looked at one another then back at him and pounced again. He'd found himself flat on his back, both of them exploring his body thoroughly with hands and mouths. First it had been Duncan tracing designs up and down his legs and Methos paying a great deal of attention to his nipples. Then Duncan exploring his throat again and Methos was at his stomach. Then it had been one at each hip moving inwards... one had obviously moved faster then the other but he wasn't sure which. But he didn't really care, he shortly decided, as whoever it was drew back, drawing their tongue along his shaft.

"Gods." He gasped desperately his hands reaching down trying to find purchase on something. Anything. He caught a shoulder, gripping at it desperately, allowing him to focus for a second and finally he managed to force his eyes open and look down to find Simon was the one pleasuring him. For a moment he couldn't find Duncan then found him behind Simon holding a tube of something. He watched entranced as Duncan began working the lube in to the other man's body with slow, precise movements. Simon had let Nick's cock slip from his mouth and was slowly pumping it with his hand now. At Nick's questioning glance, he explained

"Wouldn't want to... ahhh..." He gasped as Duncan twisted his fingers just so. "Bite... by... ac-ci-dent." He stuttered out in explanation as the Highlander nudged at his prostate with the fingers.

Nick just let his head drop back on the pillow with a breathy moan. Doing that he missed the sight of Methos reaching back, Duncan coating two of his fingers for him, then tossing the tube aside. The old man continued working the younger man's erection while the lubed fingers began exploring further, until they pressed gently against the hidden opening.

"Ahhh..." Nick cried out softly at the touch. "More." He demanded sharply when his brain came partially back online a moment later.

"You got it Nicky." Methos said pushing the digit into his body, then freezing as he felt Mac entering his own body he let his eyes fall shut to enjoy the feeling. When he managed to open them again he found Nick looking up at them both, his eyes wide.

"Gods, you two look hot." He gasped out finally.

Duncan reached down drawing a finger down his chest. "You're not looking bad yourself." He breathed as he thrust deeper in to Methos, bumping his prostate.

"Mac." The old man wailed, his body shuddering. The slight movement was transferred to Nick who moaned, arching up and pushing against the hands pleasuring him. Duncan set the pace, every one of his movements traveling down the line to Nick. It didn't take long before Nick stiffened and came over Methos's hand with a strangled scream. Methos felt the warm, slick fluid flowing over his fingers and the sensation pushed him over the edge as well, his muscles clenching around Duncan, pulling him over with them. Their shouts echoed in the room as they slumped into a tangle of arms and legs on the bed, someone having the sense to pull up the sheet before all three lost consciousness

***** *****

As Amanda slid the card key into the door she briefly wondered if this was the smartest thing to be doing. Besides the fact she was probably going to be a *very* dead woman if anyone found out she let herself back into the room, there was still the problem of Methos' friend. Ali was pissed off enough to begin with...and Amanda was almost positive she wasn't going to be exactly happy about seeing Methos in bed with another man, even if she *did* ask.

The decision was taken from her when Ali pushed her way past her and through the door. She stopped about a foot inside, blocking Amanda's view into the room. But, from the noise that was filtering out into the hallway, she was pretty sure she knew what was going on. Unable to see Ali's face however, she couldn't tell what the other woman's reaction was. "Ali...Ali?"

Looking almost like she had snapped out of a trance, Ali turned and raced out of the room, practically pushing Amanda off her feet in her haste to leave. She didn't even stop when she made it back to the hallway, just kept rushing back the way they had come. "Shit..." Amanda muttered, watching as Ali tore off down the hall. She hadn't *really* intended to hurt Ali, no matter how annoyed she was at Methos for taking her boyfriend...once again. Leaning into the room to grab the door and shut it again, she belatedly realized her mistake when she felt the tingling at the base of her skull. "Double shit..."

Hoping that maybe both Duncan and Methos were just a *little* too out of it to have noticed the brief buzz, Amanda quickly walked out, making sure the door was shut tightly behind her. Glancing down the hallway where Ali had vanished only a few moments before, Amanda felt a pang of guilt once again. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..." Amanda muttered as she wandered down the hall, hoping to catch up with Ali. Or, at the very least, put a *lot* of distance between herself and Methos...

Wandering down to the bar, having no idea on where else to look, she found Ali nursing a drink. "Ali?"

"Go away..." Ali muttered, not even bothering to look up from the table.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you for your concern. Now will you go away...?"

"Ali...just listen to me, okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you into the middle of this." Amanda sighed, shifting uneasily from side to side. "I was pissed off at Me...Simon, and..."

"You found me."

"Yes well..."

"And you thought it would be a good idea to get back at him by making his girlfriend jealous?" Ali asked with a slight laugh. "News flash for you...I'm *not* his girlfriend."

"No I wasn't trying..." Amanda paused, glancing down at the other woman in suspicion. "You aren't what?"

"Not his girlfriend...in the *usual* definition of the word. We're friends...we've even gone out a couple of times. But it never really got anywhere serious." Ali shrugged, dropping her feet from the other chair and waving Amanda to sit in it. "Of course...now I know *why*..."

"So you're not mad?"

"At Simon? Not really. More like...surprised, embarrassed and probably more than just a little disappointed." Ali paused, then smiled. "At you...yeah."

"Hey, *that* wasn't my fault. You asked." Amanda shrugged, flicking pretzel salt off the table with her fingernails. "Besides...I didn't expect to actually walk in on them *doing* anything."

"Uh huh...well they were."

"Anything interesting...?" Amanda asked innocently, finally relaxing when Ali started to laugh.

"You know...about an hour ago, I thought I was having a relatively normal evening. And somehow, since then, I've ended up in some horrible bar, sitting with someone I barely know and am discussing my boss' sex life." She paused once again, taking a sip from the bottle she was waving around for emphasis. "And from an observer's point of view no less."

"Sounds like you're having as rotten an evening as I am." Amanda smiled, tipping their bottles together in a mock-toast. They sat in companionable silence for a while, watching as the rest of the bar cleared out around them. Suddenly Amanda, sat upright, a broad smile on her face...

"What?" Ali asked suspiciously.

"I've got an idea...and don't give me that look."

"Amanda...your last idea had me walk in on Simon when he was having sex with two other guys."

"Yeah...well, that one backfired. I've got a better one this time..."

End - 1001 Ways to Annoy Amanda

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