Outside Looking In

Disclaimer: I don't own the people just the ideas.

No beta readers have touched this... only spell check. Ignor any stray typos.


I watch him whenever I have the chance. He is so beautiful, gold, and ivory, and sapphires. But that's not why I watch, that it what I let the others think that I am just enjoying the scenery he provides. Or the amusement of his outrageousness. I do enjoy the view but I am not amused. Because as I watch I can see the more outrageous he is the sadder his beautiful eyes become, the longing in them becomes something akin to desperation. The sapphires cease to sparkle. There's nothing I want more on those occasions then to bring back the sparkle, and banish the look of sadness and need. If only I knew what he needs. What he longs for so very deeply. Whatever it is I would find a way to give it to him, no matter what. He's had so very many things go wrong in his life; he deserves something that will go right to show him the universe is not against him. That someone does care what becomes of him, what he wants, thinks, dreams of. I know he thinks about more then flying, women, and pool, not just more in the day to day sense. But more, deeper like the thoughts of a different man. Not the Tom Paris we see everyday, another one... the real perhaps. Maybe, I never even considered that the image we see might not be him, until one day I saw someone else looking out of those blue eyes. Or that's how it seemed then, like a stranger was looking at me from inside his body. I've seen him a few more times since and each time I notice he's more comfortable in that body then Paris. That's how I've come to think of him, Tom... Tom is a shy stranger who hides behind Paris. Paris is the flyboy at the helm each day. He is someone no one on board has ever met; few have even seen him. I'd like to know him, let him know he doesn't have to hide, or protect him from whatever he is hiding from. Something in those soft eyes brings out every protective instinct I have. I just want to hold him close and keep his safe. But some how I don't think Paris would react well to that. So for now I have to have to wait hopping that someday Tom will come out to me and I won't be trapped outside looking in unable to do anything any longer.


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